Thus, after a long morning meditation, at the lunch pause I found myself struggling with the irrational urge to take a full three courses meal, which was going against the feeble voice of common sense saying that a medium size salad would be quite enough.
I usually do not listen to voices... But today I was struck by an illumination : that's exactly what is called "avarice": an irrational desire to have it all, born of anxiety to remain unsatisfied. A "just in case", "what if?" and "better stick to your routine" approach.
I won my battle this time (a salad after all), and had an illumination number 2 for dessert : that our "ascetic effort" has a very practical purpose, namely, to provide us with a positive experience proving that it is quite possible to resist the compulsion, and be satisfied. In other words, my salad was just what I wanted, in fact: not more, not less. And much cheaper, by the way, which made my wallet considerably happier. Less is more, really.
Repeated regularly, this experience undermines the power and loosens the grip of the basic compulsion motive: in case of avarice, anxiety.
Ah, I thought, cheerfully trotting back to the office under the glacial rain, that's what the whole Lent 2012 about : a therapy!
Interesting to think of avarice as being so closely connected to anxiety - I hadn't thought of this before. My mother would always praise the notion of 'an elegant sufficiency' before entirely failing to keep to the notion herself. I'm not sure I am of an ascetic bent either, although I do believe in moderation in most areas (except, perhaps, consumption of chocolate).
ReplyDeleteWell, all deadly sins (and even all minor vices, I think) are irrational in normal people and represent a compulsion with a basic motive behind: anger, shame or anxiety (Keating’s power/control, affection/esteem or security/survival; Don Ruso also identifies Enneagram types with one or another dominant motive). In case of avarice, it is anxiety; in case of envy or pride, shame; etc.
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