Does meditation help?

To the question « how does meditation help you? » I can only answer by a shrug – it doesn’t, and I did not ask for help when I started to meditate. I asked for freedom and for conversion, I wanted enlightenment and experience of God. These things now are all coming about, but saying that they “help” sounds to me grotesquely, comically absurd. They don’t, honestly. They make my life more complicated than ever, they confront me to the questions I really do not want to face, they lead me to the places no one in their right mind would choose to be. Meditation set in motion forces and processes that I cannot control and only partially understand. Whatever wisdom I acquired thereby, it is the wisdom of insecurity. No, clearly, meditation does not “help”; God is no-thing, and cannot be summoned to fix my life…  What emerges instead is a sense of happiness which does not depend on events and circumstances of my chaotic life, a touch of the fundamental joy of being that lies deep within and can be shared with others in a simple act of presence. That's what it is about, really.

Merton on 'The General Dance'

On this wild early Winter's day the trees around my ears are indeed dancing, and perhaps a bit more than they would find comfortable as blasts from the Antarctic do their best to strip the euclypt leaves from their branches. Here is Merton on the dance more harmonious:

"...the Lord plays and diverts himself in the garden of his creation, and if we could let go of our obsession with what we think is the meaning of it all, we might be able to hear his call and follow him in his mysterious, cosmic dance. We do not have to go very far to catch echoes of that game and of that dancing. When we are alone on a starlit night; when by chance we see the migrating birds in autumn descending on a grove of junipers to rest and eat; when we see children in a moment when they are really children; when we know love in our own hearts; or when, like the Japanese poet Basho we hear an old frog land in a quiet pond with a solitary splash -- at such times the awakening, the turning inside out of all values, the "newness," the emptiness and the purity of vision that make themselves evident, provide a glimpse of the cosmic dance.

For the world and time are the dance of the Lord in emptiness. The silence of the spheres is the music of a wedding feast. The more we persist in misunderstanding the phenomena of life, the more we analyse them out into strange finalities and complex purposes of our own, the more we involve ourselves in sadness,absurdity and despair. But it does not matter much, because no despair of ours can alter the reality of things, or stain the joy of the cosmic dance that is always there. Indeed, we are in the midst of it, and it is in the midst of us, for it beats in our very blood, whether we want it to or not.

Yet the fact remains that we are invited to forget ourselves on purpose, cast our awful solemnity to the winds and join in the general dance."

Happy dancing! Will you join me in a reel?

Lenten illuminations: less is more

Meditation makes one see one's compulsions very clearly. 

Thus, after a  long morning meditation, at the lunch pause I found myself struggling with the irrational urge to take a full three courses meal, which was going against the feeble voice of common sense saying that a medium size salad would be quite enough. 

I usually do not listen to voices... But today I was struck by an illumination : that's exactly what is called "avarice": an irrational desire to have it all, born of anxiety to remain unsatisfied. A "just in case",  "what if?" and "better stick to your routine" approach. 

I won my battle this time (a salad after all), and had an illumination number 2 for dessert : that our "ascetic effort" has a very practical purpose, namely, to provide us with a positive experience proving that it is quite possible to resist the compulsion, and be satisfied. In other words, my salad was just what I wanted, in fact: not more, not less. And much cheaper, by the way, which made my wallet considerably happier. Less is more, really. 

Repeated regularly, this experience undermines the power and loosens the grip of the basic compulsion motive: in case of avarice, anxiety. 

Ah, I thought, cheerfully trotting back to the office under the glacial rain, that's what the whole Lent 2012 about : a therapy! 

Unconditional Love

It's not even what exactly he says, it's the way he says it: the experience we are only blindly looking for is there, don't you sense?

And Rumi's line came in today too : "Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it".

The Dynamics of Falling Upwards III: The Sleeping Giant

Confidently detached, delightfully connected

What happens in meditation is slow, humble, routine, and may go unnoticed for months, if not for years. However, something strikingly momentous is happening there. By simple sitting still and consistently letting go of the normal flow of your thoughts you gain access to what C.G. Jung (and others) called “Self” - your real self; your soul. 

It feels first like coming across a sunlit clearing in a forest, or a cool well; just a surprisingly still space within. As you dwell there, you discover that it is possible to be aware of your thoughts and emotions, yet remain undisturbed, free from compulsion to follow their twittering noise. You cease to identify with feelings, emotions and thoughts, with impulses, defence mechanisms and motives that normally drive your behaviour. You acquire experimental knowledge of the fact that you are NOT these things, and that you can choose whether to act in accordance with their appeal or not. Much of what seemed absolutely inescapable - destiny, curse, fate - appears now as a mere option. This is what confidently detached means: freedom to perceive a choice.

Then you become aware of the connection; you realise that your simple "dwelling within" IS connection whereby you are included, rooted, embraced, held within an incessant stream of reality. A radically new relationship with the world is emerging: you no longer receive your legitimacy and validation from your environment, but from this "being within"; from God. This is like a quiet ocean of light within, a light that has almost material density; a solid ground of peace under your feet. This is the delightful connection that chases away fear and makes you capable of fellowship with everything that exists, enables you to welcome with kindness, accueillir avec douceur. This all-inclusive acceptance will now validate and communicate legitimacy to your environment.  

Yep. Say hello to your immortal soul. The sleeping giant is rising. Be sure, he is on his way to shatter your world.