To the
question « how does meditation help you? » I can only answer by a
shrug – it doesn’t, and I did not ask for help when I started to meditate. I
asked for freedom and for conversion, I wanted enlightenment and experience of
God. These things now are all coming about, but saying that they “help” sounds
to me grotesquely, comically absurd. They don’t, honestly. They make my life
more complicated than ever, they confront me to the questions I really do not
want to face, they lead me to the places no one in their right mind would
choose to be. Meditation set in motion forces and processes that I cannot control
and only partially understand. Whatever wisdom I acquired thereby, it is the
wisdom of insecurity. No, clearly, meditation does not “help”; God is no-thing,
and cannot be summoned to fix my life… What
emerges instead is a sense of happiness which does not depend on events and
circumstances of my chaotic life, a touch of the fundamental joy of being that
lies deep within and can be shared with others in a simple act of presence. That's what it is about, really.
So you were waiting for conversion on the road to Damascus? But instead you just found a sense of well being. Not so bad after all - I don't think life comes in dramatic bursts of inspiraton but... if you point your senses in the right direction with good inspiration you can feel an energy and an ancient power. Maybe this can come from meditation of other ways - ( i usually go for other ways) but theres something there and if you listen/feel it can help us - not with lots of advice but just the feeling of ..completeness. Sometimes words are so cumbersome and I think there are no words to explain this,
ReplyDeleteBut as you run a Meditation group you must already know a lot on this subject.